Is it love?

In Italy, I encountered three different guys that I found attractive during the past year. The first one was the handsome Brazilian guy. We talked about philosophy, and he asked me out for a coffee. He was two years younger than me, and we only met three times. As he was leaving the city, we never talked again after saying goodbye. It was the first time in my life that I felt attracted to another person while he hadn’t tried to make me impressed.

The next one was a Russian guy with a casual style who has traveled to most of the countries in the world. He was five years older than me, and for the first time in my life, I felt attracted to a person who could teach me a lot and inspire me. He was also about to leave the city, so we were together for a week before leaving. I find many things in common with this guy, and we communicated a lot while we were apart. 

Finally, there is the third guy that I went out with twice. He is Italian, and we’re the same age. The first time we met each other, I thought we were only friends because he was my classmate. But when we were walking, he asked if my hands were cold to give me his gloves. I told him that I had my gloves, and he is such a gentleman. ”Well, not entirely.” He replied. ”What other things do you think you should do to be a complete gentleman?”I said. He moved his arm, showing that he wanted to walk arm in arm. I put my arms in his, and we talked and shared so many things about each other. I felt attracted to him, and I guess he was attracted to me likewise. He asked me to meet another time, and we are set to meet tomorrow. He is about to leave in three days for Christmas Holidays, and when he is back, I will not be here. 

Since I am still in touch with the Russian guy, I thought it would be morally appropriate to tell him about the situation. My relationship with any of those guys is somehow undefined. I am not the girlfriend of any of them. However, I felt that it was the Russian guy’s right to know about this as I am closer to him now. I am happy that he reacted in such a cool way when I told him about the situation. He told me that he was glad for me to see this new guy, and it’s cute that I told him about it. I don’t know, but I feel a bit humiliated by his reaction. Did he make fun of me for being honest?

Maybe, he simply doesn’t care about me. Perhaps we’re only friends, and I am just such an idiot feeling that there is something between us. I feel so sick of the situation of getting distant from the people you like. It is sort of a challenging task to relocate. I know that I have also chosen my life to be this way, but sometimes I find it hard to bear with. 
I don’t know, but is there something in me that makes me attracted to people when they are about to leave when I am going to leave? Am I just stuck in childish high-school-like drama?

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